The second superhighway that will take us straight to a land of nightmares is the “Uncontrolled Access Throughway”. The traveler on the “Uncontrolled Access Throughway” believes that the process of prioritizing her life and establishing goals is a waste of time and not really worth the effort.
There is no deliberate direction on this highway; travelers are blown whichever way the winds of obligation and circumstance and opinion take them.
They don’t set boundaries and their identity is frequently based on a quest to please the people around them.
The traveler on this superhighway will find herself overwhelmed and exhausted, with no real direction in life. Her passions will be sacrificed or forgotten or never even fully discovered because she is too busy reacting to life rather than designing her life.
Feelings of “always being busy” yet “never accomplishing anything” are road signs that one might see on this highway. The inability to say “no” to things is another road sign. If a traveler does not know the exit number for her destination, it is another indication that she may be traveling this highway.
You may want to ask yourself some questions. Where am I headed? What is important to me? If I have two potential commitments and I can only do one, what determines my decision? I would recommend asking these questions until you develop a hierarchy of priorities and a way to determine boundaries in your life.
Another series of questions might be: Am I just pleasing people? Do I have a need for affirmation? Do I find my identity only in the value that I bring to others?
There is only one way down this superhighway and it is never towards the land of your dreams. Unless you choose to turn off this highway and be deliberate with your life, your influences, and your direction, it will carry you directly towards your nightmares.
- Exercise:
Have you ever found yourself on the “Uncontrolled Access Throughway”?
Are you on it now? If so, recognize where.
Now, write down one boundary that you can commit to today to start turning yourself off this path.
Integral Development Forum 