Previously, we discussed my belief that comparison is the single most damaging process in human relationships. We are going to revisit comparison today to unpack a few more thoughts on it because this topic is one that can transform a life or a relationship forever.
Comparison is very common in our world. It is a practice used when evaluating employees. What’s the measuring stick for evaluating someone? Often it is where you are ranked in certain metrics versus your peers.
It is clear then that comparison is probably not something we can simply avoid.
So, if we cannot steer clear of it, perhaps we can choose to take a healthy approach to it.
Often when we are trying to improve, we look for people that we admire and try to emulate the things we like about them.
This is a good thing, a healthy and productive practice that can push us to become all that we are created to be. However, there is a trap here.
For example, if I begin to get to know a fellow author or business leader whom I admire, it could be a relationship that helps me develop strengths that I still need to hone. However, if I begin to think, this guy is younger than I am, he’s accomplished so much more than I ever have, he’s sold more books, he’s had a bigger impact, etc… well, now I’ve just discouraged myself instead of bettered myself, and very possibly weakened a relationship that could have helped me be a stronger person and even become more of the person I am created to be.
Here’s the key: it is never effective to discourage either yourself or someone else based on the comparison of your abilities or beliefs or accomplishments. It is always effective to look upon the abilities or beliefs or accomplishments of others as an inspiration and encouragement for you to be better. And when you have accomplished something great, it is an opportunity for you to use that to encourage rather than discourage the people that will inevitably compare themselves to you.
- Exercise:
Is there someone in your life that you compare yourself to and then use that comparison to discourage yourself from becoming a better person?
How can you turn that same comparison into something that will encourage you?
Integral Development Forum 