HERE IS A BASIC rule for winning success. Let’s mark it in the mind and remember it. The rule is: Success depends on the support of other people. The only hurdle between you and what you want to be is the support of others.
Today, remember, a person either supports you willingly or he doesn’t support you at all.
What must I do to get these people to support me and accept my leadership?
The answer, wrapped up in one phrase, is think right toward people. Think right toward people, and they will like and support you.
In at least nine cases out of ten, the “likability” factor is the first thing mentioned. And in an overwhelmingly large number of cases, the “likability” factor is given far more weight than the technical factor.
A person is not pulled up to a higher-level job. Rather, he is lifted up. In this day and age nobody has time or patience to pull another up the job ladder, degree by painful degree. The individual is chosen whose record makes him stand higher than the rest.
Being likable makes you lighter to lift.
Successful people follow a plan for liking people. Do you?
Don’t try to buy friendship; it’s not for sale.
Take the initiative in building friendships—leaders always do.
Here are six ways to win friends by exercising just a little initiative:
- Introduce yourself to others at every possible opportunity—at parties, meetings, on airplanes, at work, everywhere.
- Be sure the other person gets your name straight.
- Be sure you can pronounce the other person’s name the way he pronounces it.
- Write down the other person’s name, and be mighty sure you have it spelled correctly; understandably people have a thing about the correct spelling of their own names! If possible, get their address and phone number, also.
- Drop a personal note or make a phone call to the new friends you feel you want to know better. This is an important point. Most successful people follow through on new friends with a letter or a phone call.
- And last but not least, say pleasant things to strangers. It warms you up and gets you ready for the task ahead.
We must remember that most people do not understand the concepts of thinking right toward people.
Make a forceful promise to yourself. Refuse to let others prejudice your thinking.
Once you’ve mastered the technique of thinking only good thoughts about people, greater success is guaranteed.
The average person would rather talk about himself than anything else in this world. When you give him the chance, he likes you for it.
Don’t be a conversation hog. Listen, win friends, and learn.
The real test for thinking right toward people comes when things don’t go exactly the way we want.
Remember this: how you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win.
IN A CAPSULE, PUT THESE PRINCIPLES TO WORK
- Make yourself lighter to lift. Be likable. Practice being the kind of person people like.
- Take the initiative in building friendships. Introduce yourself to others at every opportunity.
- Accept human differences and limitations. Don’t expect anyone to be perfect, Remember, the other person has a right to be different. And don’t be a reformer.
- Think positive thoughts toward people—and get positive results.
- Practice conversation generosity. Be like successful people. Encourage others to talk. Let the other person talk to you about his views, his opinions, his accomplishments.
- Practice courtesy all the time. It makes other people feel better. It makes you feel better too.
- Don’t blame others when you receive a setback. Remember, how you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win.
Integral Development Forum 