Integral Development Forum

Balance is a choice

Many of us feel that we are left having to choose success in one area of life at the expense of another area. When we get caught up in this way of thinking, we miss considering the fact that we do, in fact, have another choice.

We can choose balance.

Things that are really worth attaining in life are only worth it if we can achieve balance along the way to attaining them. If we destroy other pieces of our lives in the pursuit of one thing, we will never feel satisfied or whole in our achievement.

How then do you achieve balance? This is where you have to make specific choices.

The choices need to be based upon what your priorities are.

It really comes down to determining what is most important to you and then holding yourself to that list of priorities.
However, there may be seasons of life where priorities need to be shuffled a bit for the sake of a press towards a goal.
The balance will come when you make decisions about the priorities for a given season of your life, and then you hold yourself to them.

This is a skill that can take years to develop, but it is one well worth mastering.
When we choose balance, when that is a focus of our attention, we can achieve it.

• Exercise:
  What is one deliberate choice you can make today that will allow you to feel that you are taking a balanced approach to your day?

Small choices

Human beings have a truly marvelous amount of potential.

The fact is that it really all comes down to the choices we make.

Some of those choices are large, full-scale life decisions, while others are small choices that simply pave the pathway to our success or failure.

Let’s think for a moment about the small choices—the things that don’t necessarily seem in the moment like they are going to have a lasting impact on your life. Things like choosing kindness or anger in the middle of a disagreement, or choosing to go to the gym rather than sleep in on a Saturday. Things like waking up in the morning with a deliberate intent to choose a positive attitude rather than a discouraged one, or choosing to invest some time with your kids rather than answering one more email; these small choices are constantly presented to us.

Choices are endless; you make them every moment of every day.
The key for today is to remember that you do have a choice.

And here’s a fact that can make a huge difference as you make choices in your life: successful, happy people do not base their choices on their emotions.

They base their choices on what is best for the fulfillment of their potential.

• Exercise:
  What is one deliberate choice you can make today that will take you farther along the path of becoming the person you are created to be?

Comparison is the single most damaging process in human relationships.

If we could cease comparing ourselves with each other, it would solve almost all relationship problems.

Comparison causes brokenness in relationships, brings marriages to an end, propels nations to war, and perpetuates constant bickering and fighting among people.

When the value we place on ourselves is based on who we are in comparison to someone else, conflict or jealousy or competition or depression will arise … every time.

I need to come to the place where I accept the fact that I am a worthwhile human being. I am worth loving. I am somebody. Because I am somebody, I have a unique purpose in life. I don’t have to be defensive about it, nor do I have to be prideful about it.

Dave Grant in his book, The Ultimate Power, stated : “Our self-worth is a GIVEN. What we’ve been working so hard to get, we’ve already got: A SELF WORTH LOVING.”

• Exercise:
  Write down one relationship that could be improved by dropping your compulsion to compare.
  Make a few notes on what the improved relationship would look like.

Life is better lived when we have a spirit of gratefulness working in our lives every day.

We all could probably tell countless stories of people who have shared a word of gratitude or thanks for something we have done. But what about all the times when we haven’t chosen to be grateful? Or the times when we have felt grateful and yet kept it to ourselves?

Think about how much more of a beautiful place the world becomes when we approach life looking for ways to be grateful and for ways to express that gratefulness.

It’s not only about the difference that something or someone has made in your life; it’s about the difference that you can make back in their lives by thanking them for it.

• Exercise:
  Write down some things for which you’re grateful.
  If there’s somebody you could to say “thank you” or “I appreciate you” to, then do it.

I think this principle of action could almost be considered the ultimate daily discipline … do it now!

Picture the massive change we would see in our lives over time as we daily take action that moves us towards our dreams. Think of the momentum we would create with that forward movement.

There is a major difference between planning to take action and actually taking the action.

The problem for many of us as we work towards accomplishing our goals is not that we can’t do it. Rather, it is that we often don’t get started doing it at all.

If you have something you want to accomplish, you need to get moving and do it now.

As we learn to make action a daily discipline rather than a sporadic burst of activity, we will find ourselves on a swift and sure path of achieving our goals and moving closer to our dreams.

• Exercise:
  Write down one important action step you can take today. And then … Do It Now!

Pre-established intervals to assess our efforts are powerful in their ability to keep us on track.

Frequent checkpoints for our goals are crucial in the process of their achievement

At the beginning of every day, take a look at what the day has in store for you. Read your goals.

What can I do today that will take me closer? What must I avoid doing today that would take me further away from my goal?

Then, at the close of the day, read your goals again. Take a look at what you have actually done to see whether or not you have taken the necessary steps towards the accomplishment of your goals.

This will take an extra degree of focus, commitment, and consistency. However, it will give the accountability, motivation, and productivity.

By applying the technique of daily engagement and assessment, you will keep yourself consistent and thereby end up saving yourself time and energy.

Daily discipline: little things that we can do consistently that will make a huge difference. Checkpoints for our goals are one of those disciplines that will transform our lives.

Exercise:
Consider how the idea of checkpoints can fit into your schedule. Write down your intentions about checkpoints for your goals.

Paying the price

Am I willing to pay the price?

This is a defining and crucial question in the process of achieving our goals.

Goal setting takes hard work and dedication. Setting a goal is making a promise to ourselves that we are willing to do whatever it takes in order to achieve the objective that we desire.

Will I pay the price for this? Am I willing to do what it is going to take to accomplish this goal? Am I will to invest the time this will take? Am I willing to invest the physical and emotional energy this will take? Am I willing to invest the money this will take? Is the end result of achieving this goal worth the effort that it will take to get there?

Only you can answer these questions for yourself. What might be worth it to one person might not be worth it to someone else.

If you discover that you have set a goal that requires a price higher than you are willing to pay, the next step is to adjust the goal.

Does this mean failure?

No! You simply adjust the goal

If we pay only part of the price and see little to no results, we begin a process of self-doubt that is difficult to reverse. Instead, we are wise if we will evaluate the price.

Once we have decided that we are willing to put the effort and time and heart into our goals, then all that remains is to move confidently towards them.

• Exercise:
  Assess your 3 goals from yesterday.
  Are you willing to pay the price? If not, adjust them so that the price they will require is something that you are willing to pay.

Write down your goals

There is something powerful in the act of writing down our goals, almost as though we are promising ourselves that these thoughts in our minds are more than just thoughts; they are objectives that we are willing to work towards.

When we take time and emotional energy to really think our goals through enough so that we can write them down, it turns our roaming thoughts into concrete intentions.

Writing things down gives me the chance to continually clarify thoughts about them.

When I go through the process of writing, reading, and re-writing, it helps me crystalize the goal in a way that makes its eventual completion extremely fullfilling.

The time I invest developing the goal spurs my thinking about how to accomplish it and it also leads me toward actually taking action.

So I encourage you to write down your goals. Just give it a try, even if you are sceptical of the value.

Write the, read them daily, rewrite them from time to time. You will discover that the menthal focus and clarity that comes with this practice is more than worth the effort.

Exercise:
Write down 3 goals that would like to achive in the next year
– to start Community of support and personal growth
– to develop myself physically to get ability to run at least 5 km
– to learn French language to at least level B1