Integral Development Forum

Achieving high-level success requires the support and the cooperation of others.

Success and the ability to lead others—that is, getting them to do things they wouldn’t do if they were not led—go hand in hand.

Four leadership rules or principles are:

1. Trade minds with the people you want to influence.
2. Think: What is the human way to handle this?
3. Think progress, believe in progress, push for progress.
4. Take time out to confer with yourself and develop your supreme thinking power. Practicing these rules produces results.

Putting them to use in everyday situations takes the mystery out of that gold-plated word, leadership.

LEADERSHIP RULE NUMBER 1:
TRADE MINDS WITH THE PEOPLE YOU WANT TO INFLUENCE.

Trading minds with the people you want to influence is a magic way to get others—friends, associates, customers, employees—to act the way you want them to act.

To get others to do what you want them to do, you must see things through their eyes. When you trade minds, the secret of how to influence other people effectively shows up.

Keep this question in mind: “What would I think of this if I exchanged places with the other person?” It paves the way to more successful action.

Develop your power to trade minds with the people you want to influence. The exercises below will help.

Put the trading minds principle to work for you

1. Consider the other person’s situation.
2. Now ask yourself, “If I were in his situation, how would I react to this?” (Whatever it is you want him to do.)
3. Then take the action that would move you if you were the other person.

LEADERSHIP RULE NUMBER 2:
THINK: WHAT IS THE HUMAN WAY TO HANDLE THIS?

People use different approaches to leadership situations. One approach is to assume the position of a dictator. The dictator makes all decisions without consulting those affected.

Dictators don’t last long. Employees may fake loyalty for a while, but unrest soon develops.

A second leadership technique is the cold, mechanical, I’m-a-rule-book-operator approach. The fellow using this approach handles everything exactly according to the book.

The cold, impersonal efficiency expert is not an ideal. The “machines” that work for him develop only part of their energy.

Persons who rise to tremendous leadership heights use a third approach that we call “Being Human.”

Here are two ways to use the be-human approach to make you a better leader. First, each time you face a difficult matter involving people, ask yourself, “What is the human way to handle this?”

A second way to profit from the be-human rule is to let your action show you put people first.

Treat everyone with dignity. Remind yourself that the primary purpose in life is to enjoy it. As a general rule, the more interest you show in a person, the more he will produce for you.

Practice praising people. Rub people the right way. Be human.

LEADERSHIP RULE NUMBER 3:
THINK PROGRESS, BELIEVE IN PROGRESS, PUSH FOR PROGRESS.

One of the most complimentary things anyone can say about you is “He stands for progress. He’s the man for the job.”

Join the leadership elite. Develop a forward look. There are two special things you can do to develop your progressive outlook:

1. Think improvement in everything you do.
2. Think high standards in everything you do.

Believe in—and push for—progress; and you’ll be a leader!

Remember this: when you take over the leadership of a group, the persons in that group immediately begin to adjust themselves to the standards you set.

Think, talk, act, live the way you want your subordinates to think, talk, act, live—and they will.

LEADERSHIP RULE NUMBER 4:
TAKE TIME OUT TO CONFER WITH YOURSELF AND TAP YOUR SUPREME THINKING POWER.

The successful person in any field takes time out to confer with himself or herself. Leaders use solitude to put the pieces of a problem together, to work out solutions, to plan, and, in one phrase, to do their superthinking.

Successful leaders tap their superpower through being alone. You can, too

Resolve now to set aside some time each day (at least thirty minutes) to be completely by yourself.

You can use this time to do two types of thinking: directed and undirected. To do directed thinking, review the major problem facing you. In solitude your mind will study the problem objectively and lead you to the right answer. To do undirected thinking, just let your mind select what it wishes to think about.

Remember, the main job of the leader is thinking. And the best preparation for leadership is thinking. Spend some time in managed solitude every day and think yourself to success.

SUMMARY

To be a more effective leader, put these four leadership principles to work

1. Trade minds with the people you want to influence. It’s easy to get others to do what you want them to do if you’ll see things through their eyes. Ask yourself this question before you act: “What would I think of this if I exchanged places with the other person?”
2. Apply the “Be-Human” rule in your dealings with others. Ask, “What is the human way to handle this?” In everything you do, show that you put other people first. Just give other people the kind of treatment you like to receive. You’ll be rewarded.
3. Think progress, believe in progress, push for progress. Think improvement in everything you do. Think high standards in everything you do.
4. Take time out to confer with yourself and tap your supreme thinking power. Use the thinking technique all great leaders use: confer with yourself.

EVERY BIT OF HUMAN progress—our inventions big and little, our medical discoveries, our engineering triumphs, our business successes—were first visualized before they became realities.

A goal is an objective, a purpose. A goal is more than a dream; it’s a dream being acted upon.

Nothing happens, no forward steps are taken, until a goal is established. Without goals individuals just wander through life.

Goals are as essential to success as air is to life. No one ever stumbles into success without a goal.

The important thing is not where you were or where you are but where you want to get.

You must form an image now of the person you want to be ten years from now if you are to become that image. This is a critical thought.

Before you start out, know where you want to go.

AN IMAGE OF ME, 10 YEARS FROM NOW:
10 YEARS’ PLANNING GUIDE

Work Department: 10 years from now:

1. What income level do I want to attain?
2. What level of responsibility do I seek?
3. How much authority do I want to command?
4. What prestige do I expect to gain from my work?

Home Department: 10 years from now:

1. What kind of standard of living do I want to provide for my family and myself?
2. What kind of house do I want to live in?
3. What kind of vacations do I want to take?
4. What financial support do I want to give my children in their early adult years?

Social Department: 10 years from now:

1. What kinds of friends do I want to have?
2. What social groups do I want to join?
3. What community leadership positions would I like to hold?
4. What worthwhile causes do I want to champion?

And, please, as you visualize your future, don’t be afraid to be blue sky. People these days are measured by the size of their dreams.

Desire, when harnessed, is power. Failure to follow desire, to do what you want to do most, paves the way to mediocrity.

Success requires heart-and-soul effort, and you can put your heart and soul only into something you really desire.

Switching from what you don’t like to do to what you do like to do is like putting a five-hundred-horsepower motor in a ten-year-old car.

Remember, the only way to get full power, to develop full go force, is to do what you want to do.

Successful people have their eyes focused on a goal, and this provides energy. The point is this: energy increases, multiplies, when you set a desired goal and resolve to work toward that goal.

The most amazing thing about a deeply entrenched goal is that it keeps you on course to reach your target.

Set goals to get things done.

The step-by-step method is the only intelligent way to attain any objective.

Just as a beautiful building is created from pieces of stone, each of which in itself appears insignificant, in like manner the successful life is constructed.

It’s clear. We do not make one big jump to success. We get there one step at a time.

THIRTY-DAY IMPROVEMENT GUIDE

Between now and ___ I will

Break these habits: (suggestions)

1. Putting off things.
2. Negative language.
3. Watching TV more than 60 minutes per day.
4. Gossip.

Acquire these habits: (suggestions).

1. A rigid morning examination of the smartness my appearance.
2. Plan each day’s work the night before.
3. Compliment people sincerely at every possible opportunity.

Increase my value to my employer in these ways: (suggestions)

1. Do a better job of developing my subbordinates.
2. Learn about my company, what it does, and the customers ir serves.
3. Make three specific sugestions to help my company become more efficient.

Increase my value to my home in these ways: (suggestions)

1. Show my appreciation for a little things my partner does that I’ve been taking for granted.
2. Once each week, do something special with my whole family.
3. Give one hour each day of my undivided atention to my family.

Sharpen my mind in these ways: (suggestions)

1. Invest two hours each week in reading professional magazines in my field.
2. Read one self-help book.
3. Make four new friends.
4. Spend 30 minutes daily in queit, undisturbed thinking.

When we detour, we don’t have to change our goals. We just travel a different route.

Here are two sound self-investments that will pay handsome profits in the years ahead:

1. Invest in education.
   True education is the soundest investment you can make in yourself. Real education, the kind worth investingin, is that whitch develops and cultivates your mind. Anything that improves thinking ability is education.
2. Invest in idea starters.
   Idea starters feed your mind, give you constructive material to think about.

LET’S TAKE ACTION

Now quick recap, put these success-building principles to work:

1. Get a clear fix on where you want to go. Create image of yourself ten years from now.
2. Write out your ten-year plan. your life is too important to be left to chance.
3. Surrender yourself to your desire. Set goals to get more energy. Set goals to get things done. Set goals and discover the real enjoyment of living.
4. Let your major goal be your automatic pilot. When let your goal absorb you, you’ll find yourself making the right decisions to reach your goal.
5. Achieve your goal one step at a time. Regard each task you perform, regardless of how small it may seem, as a step toward your goal.

It is not possible to win high-level success without meeting opposition, hardship, and setback. But it is possible to use setbacks to propel you forward. Let’s see how.

Air travel is a magnificently safe way to go these days. Unfortunately, air accidents still occur. But when they do, the Civil Aviation Administration is on the scene quickly to find out what caused the crash.

The CAA studies setbacks to pave the way to safer air travel. And it’s obvious that their efforts pay off.

Doctors use setbacks to pave the way to better health and longer life.

The football coach who wins more games than he loses goes over the details of each game with his team to point out their mistakes.

CAA officials, successful sales executives, physicians, football coaches, and professionals in every field follow this success principle: salvage something from every setback.

When a setback hits us personally, our first impulse is often to become so emotionally upset that we fail to learn the lesson.

We can turn setbacks into victories. Find the lesson, apply it, and then look back on defeat and smile.

Defeat is only a state of mind, and nothing more.

Decide right now to salvage something from every setback. Next time things seem to go wrong on the job or at home, calm down and find out what caused the trouble. This is the way to avoid making the same error twice.

Being self-critical is constructive. It helps you to build the personal strength and efficiency needed for success. Blaming others is destructive. You gain absolutely nothing from “proving” that someone else is wrong.

Don’t, of course, try to find your faults so you can say to yourself, “Here’s another reason I’m a loser.”

Instead view your mistakes as “Here’s another way to make me a bigger winner.”

Instead of blaming luck, research those setbacks. If you lose, learn.

We must have persistence. But persistence is only one of the ingredients of victory. We can try and try, and try and try and try again, and still fail, unless we combine persistence with experimentation.

Stay with your goal. Don’t waver an inch from it. But don’t beat your head against a wall. If you aren’t getting results, try a new approach.

Here are two suggestions for developing greater power to experiment, the ingredient that, when blended with persistence, gets results.

1. Tell yourself, “There IS a way.” All thoughts are magnetic.

“There is a way to solve this problem,” and positive thoughts rush into your mind to help you find a solution. It’s believing there is a way that is important.

A problem, a difficulty, becomes unsolvable only when you think it is unsolvable. Attract solutions by believing solutions are possible.

2. Back off and start afresh.

When you hit a snag, don’t throw up the whole project.

Instead, back off, get mentally refreshed. Try something as simple as playing some music or taking a walk or a short nap. Then, when you tackle it again, the solution often comes almost before you know it.

IN QUICK REVIEW

The difference between success and failure is found in one’s attitudes toward setbacks, handicaps, discouragements, and other disappointing situations. Five guideposts to help you turn defeat into victory are:

1. Study setbacks to pave your way to success. When you lose, learn, and then go on to win next time.
2. Have the courage to be your own constructive critic. Seek out your faults and weaknesses and then correct them. This makes you a professional.
3. Stop blaming luck. Research each setback. Find out what went wrong. Remember, blaming luck never got anyone where they wanted to go.
4. Blend persistence with experimentation. Stay with your goal but don’t beat your head against a stone wall. Try new approaches. Experiment.
5. Remember, there is a good side in every situation. Find it. See the good side and whip discouragement.

HERE’S SOMETHING LEADERS IN every field agree on: There is a shortage of top-flight, expertly qualified persons to fill key positions. There is one success ingredient often missing in candidate: that is the ability to get things done, to get results.

“Nothing comes merely by thinking about it.”

Think of it. Everything we have in this world, from satellites to skyscrapers to baby food, is just an idea acted upon.

Nothing man-made or man-designed is, or can be, absolutely perfect. So to wait for the perfect set of conditions is to wait forever.

The test of a successful person is not an ability to eliminate all problems before they arise, but to meet and work out difficulties when they do arise.

Here are two things to do to help you avoid the costly mistake of waiting until conditions are perfect before you act.

1. Expect future obstacles and difficulties. Every venture presents risks, problems, and uncertainties.
2. Meet problems and obstacles as they arise. The test of a successful person is not the ability to eliminate all problems before he takes action, but rather the ability to find solutions to difficulties when he encounters them.

We can’t buy an insurance policy against all problems.

Ideas are important. Let’s make no mistake about that. We must have ideas to create and improve anything. Success shuns the man who lacks ideas.

Ideas in themselves are not enough. That idea for getting more business, for simplifying work procedures, is of value only when it is acted upon.

First, give your ideas value by acting on them. Regardless of how good the idea, unless you do something with it, you gain nothing.

Second, act on your ideas and gain mind tranquillity.

Got a good idea? Then do something about it.

Use action to cure fear and gain confidence.

It’s perfectly natural to experience fear in one of many forms. But the usual methods of combating it simply don’t work.

Build confidence. Destroy fear through action.

START YOUR MENTAL ENGINE—MECHANICALLY

Action must precede action. That’s a law of nature. Nothing starts itself, not even the dozens of mechanical gadgets we use daily.

A humorist once said the most difficult problem in life was getting out of a warm bed into a cold room.

The point is clear. People who get things done in this world don’t wait for the spirit to move them; they move the spirit.

Now is the magic word of success. Tomorrow, next week, later, sometime, someday often as not are synonyms for the failure word, never.

Live the advice of Benjamin Franklin: “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.”

Initiative is a special kind of action. It’s doing something worthwhile without being told to do it. The person with initiative has a standing invitation to join the high income brackets in every business and profession.

Here are two special exercises for developing the initiative habit:

1. Be a crusader. When you see something that you believe ought to be done, pick up the ball and run.
2. Be a volunteer. The volunteer stands out. He receives special attention. Most important of all, he gives himself an opportunity to show he has special ability and ambition by volunteering.

GROW THE ACTION HABIT

Practice these key points:

1. Be an activationist. Be someone who does things. Be a doer, not a don’t-er.
2. Don’t wait until conditions are perfect. They never will be. Expect future obstacles and difficulties and solve them as they arise.
3. Remember, ideas alone won’t bring success. Ideas have value only when you act upon them.
4. Use action to cure fear and gain confidence. Do what you fear, and fear disappears. Just try it and see.
5. Start your mental engine mechanically. Don’t wait for the spirit to move you. Take action, dig in, and you move the spirit.
6. Think in terms of now. Tomorrow, next week, later, and similar words often are synonymous with the failure word, never. Be an “I’m starting right now” kind of person.
7. Get down to business—pronto. Don’t waste time getting ready to act. Start acting instead.
8. Seize the initiative. Be a crusader. Pick up the ball and run. Be a volunteer. Show that you have the ability and ambition to do.
9. Get in gear and go!

HERE IS A BASIC rule for winning success. Let’s mark it in the mind and remember it. The rule is: Success depends on the support of other people. The only hurdle between you and what you want to be is the support of others.

Today, remember, a person either supports you willingly or he doesn’t support you at all.

What must I do to get these people to support me and accept my leadership?

The answer, wrapped up in one phrase, is think right toward people. Think right toward people, and they will like and support you.

In at least nine cases out of ten, the “likability” factor is the first thing mentioned. And in an overwhelmingly large number of cases, the “likability” factor is given far more weight than the technical factor.

A person is not pulled up to a higher-level job. Rather, he is lifted up. In this day and age nobody has time or patience to pull another up the job ladder, degree by painful degree. The individual is chosen whose record makes him stand higher than the rest.

Being likable makes you lighter to lift.

Successful people follow a plan for liking people. Do you?

Don’t try to buy friendship; it’s not for sale.

Take the initiative in building friendships—leaders always do.

Here are six ways to win friends by exercising just a little initiative:

1. Introduce yourself to others at every possible opportunity—at parties, meetings, on airplanes, at work, everywhere.
2. Be sure the other person gets your name straight.
3. Be sure you can pronounce the other person’s name the way he pronounces it.
4. Write down the other person’s name, and be mighty sure you have it spelled correctly; understandably people have a thing about the correct spelling of their own names! If possible, get their address and phone number, also.
5. Drop a personal note or make a phone call to the new friends you feel you want to know better. This is an important point. Most successful people follow through on new friends with a letter or a phone call.
6. And last but not least, say pleasant things to strangers. It warms you up and gets you ready for the task ahead.

We must remember that most people do not understand the concepts of thinking right toward people.

Make a forceful promise to yourself. Refuse to let others prejudice your thinking.

Once you’ve mastered the technique of thinking only good thoughts about people, greater success is guaranteed.

The average person would rather talk about himself than anything else in this world. When you give him the chance, he likes you for it.

Don’t be a conversation hog. Listen, win friends, and learn.

The real test for thinking right toward people comes when things don’t go exactly the way we want.

Remember this: how you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win.

IN A CAPSULE, PUT THESE PRINCIPLES TO WORK

• Make yourself lighter to lift. Be likable. Practice being the kind of person people like.
• Take the initiative in building friendships. Introduce yourself to others at every opportunity.
• Accept human differences and limitations. Don’t expect anyone to be perfect, Remember, the other person has a right to be different. And don’t be a reformer.
• Think positive thoughts toward people—and get positive results.
• Practice conversation generosity. Be like successful people. Encourage others to talk. Let the other person talk to you about his views, his opinions, his accomplishments.
• Practice courtesy all the time. It makes other people feel better. It makes you feel better too.
• Don’t blame others when you receive a setback. Remember, how you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win.

People speak without a sound.

How we think shows through in how we act. Attitudes are mirrors of the mind. They reflect thinking.

We read attitudes through expressions and voice tones and inflections.

Right attitudes win for you in every situation. Grow these three attitudes. Make them your allies in everything you do.

1. Grow the attitude of I’m activated.
2. Grow the attitude of You are important.
3. Grow the attitude of Service first.

To activate others, you must first activate yourself.

To activate others, to get them to be enthusiastic, you must first be enthusiastic yourself.

Here is a three-step procedure that will help you to develop the power of enthusiasm.

1. Dig into it deeper.

To get enthusiasm about anything—people, places, things—dig into it deeper. Dig into it deeper, and you’ll develop enthusiasm.

2. In everything you do, life it up.

Life it up. Be sure everything you do and say tells people, “That fellow is alive.” “He means it.” “He’s going places.”

3. Broadcast good news.

Good news gets good results. Broadcast it.

Broadcasting good news activates you, makes you feel better. Broadcasting good news makes other people feel better too.

GROW THE “YOU-ARE-IMPORTANT” ATTITUDE

Each human being, whether he lives in India or Indianapolis, whether he’s ignorant or brilliant, civilized or uncivilized, young or old, has this desire: He wants to feel important.

The other person, regardless of his status or his income, is important to you and for two giant, dollars-and-cents reasons.

First, people do more for you when you make them feel important.

It pays to make “little” people feel like big people.

It pays to make “big” people feel even bigger. The big thinker always adds value to people by visualizing them at their best.

Here’s the second giant reason for making others feel important: When you help others feel important, you help yourself feel important too.

Again and again this point must be driven home: You must feel important to succeed. Helping others to feel important rewards you because it makes you feel more important. Try it and see.

1. Practice appreciation. Make it a rule to let others know you appreciate what they do for you.
2. Practice calling people by their names.
3. Don’t hog glory, invest it instead.

WANT TO MAKE MONEY? THEN GET THE PUT-SERVICE-FIRST ATTITUDE

Money is power to give your family and yourself the standard of living they deserve. Money is power to help the unfortunate. Money is one of the means to living life fully.

Put service first, and money takes care of itself.

You don’t get a raise on the promise of better performance; you get a raise only by demonstrating better performance. You can’t harvest money unless you plant the seeds that grow money. And the seed of money is service.

In quick recap, grow attitudes that will carry you forward to success.

1. Grow the “I’m activated” attitude. Results come in proportion to the enthusiasm invested.

Three things to do to activate yourself are:

Dig into it deeper. When you find yourself uninterested in something, dig in and learn more about it. This sets off enthusiasm.

Life up everything about you: your smile, your handshake, your talk, even your walk. Act alive.

Broadcast good news. No one ever accomplished anything positive telling bad news.

2. Grow the “You are important” attitude. People do more for you when you make them feel important. Remember to do these things:

Show appreciation at every opportunity. Make people feel important.

Call people by name.

3. Grow the “Service first” attitude, and watch money take care of itself. Make it a rule in everything you do: give people more than they expect to get.