DAY SEVENTY-EIGHT | Conflict

We all know people who feel very differently about life. Oftentimes, simply by looking at someone’s countenance or listening to the tone of his or her voice, we can identify that he or she is headed for a conflict. These approaches to conflict are two distinctly different “camera views” of life: one can lead to a victim mentality and an irresponsible lack of engagement; the other can lead to anger, arrogance, and destruction.

Fortunately, there is a third camera angle. Max Lucado points out in his book, When God Whispers Your Name, “Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.”

The resolution of differing ideas, opinions, values and actions that have the potential of erupting into warfare begins first of all within each one of us.

When I approach a conflict, I am best positioned for the resolution of that conflict if I have an attitude that humbly accepts my shortcomings, resolutely demands a period of non-defensive listening for understanding, joyfully anticipates the added value that the eventual resolution will bring to my life, and confidently embraces the expectation that there is opportunity in every difficulty.

When our determination is to add value to everyone we meet and to believe that everyone we meet has something of value to contribute to our lives, we see life differently than most people see it. When revenge, aggression and retaliation are the goal, reconciliation is nearly impossible.

We are not so much disturbed by things, situations, or circumstances as we are by the camera angle through which we see them. When we’re willing to look through the camera and see ourselves first, we are better equipped to see and understand others. We are than empowered to respond rather than react and to learn from the experience.

The possibilities of successful conflict resolution are beautifully expressed in the words of Henry David Thoreau: “Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?”. That takes forethought. That takes courage. That takes a humble mindset. And sometimes, that takes a reassessment of everything that’s involved in the conflict.

In memoriam Ken “Skip” Ross

Ken “Skip” Ross

SEPTEMBER 27, 1938 – JUNE 13, 2021

I can not express what a feeling I had when I received information that Skip Ross has gone home to be with Jesus (as it was expressed by his daughter Melody).

It could be grief – because I will never have any more possibility to see and listen his talk live (even virtally). It could be a pity – because before COVID pandemia there were plans that someday I will attend seminar and see Skip Ross, but this “someday” will never come anymore.

But more of above I have a feeling of gratitude for all his books (like “Say Yes to Your Potential” “Daily Disciplines: 90 DAYS OF PERSONAL GROWTH”), audio materials (like “Dinamic Living” seminars, talks from many seminars) what I was and am happy to read and listen. They are full of wisdom and power to lift anybody up in his/her strive to greatness .

I am happy that we had this great Man of Significance in our life and I am grateful to be positively influenced by his wisdom.

I would like to close with Skip’s qoute what I think describes his motto very well:

“Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy, or to be grumpy. But is always smarter, always better and always wiser to choose to be happy!”

R.I.P.

DAY SEVENTY-SEVEN | Refuse Inferiority

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. Wow, what a powerful statement! Nobody has the power to make you feel inferior unless you tell them it’s okay to do so.

So let’s ask some questions about this thought then. First of all, why do people try to make other people feel inferior? And secondly … why would I give anyone permission to do that to me?

There is no doubt that we will all run into people in our lives that will try to make us feel inferior.

If someone feels inferior themselves, they frequently believe that they will feel better about themselves when they have intimidated the other person to feel lesser. If they can knock someone else down to a place of inferiority, somehow they believe that they will feel more valuable.

So why would you give them the permission? The only reason you would or could give anyone else that consent is if you have already given it to yourself.

If you speak to yourself as someone who is less valuable than others, then anyone who adds to that conversation is only building off a base that you have constructed.

And so today, refuse. Refuse to give that permission to anyone, including yourself. You are a beautiful and wonderfully unique creation of God himself. You are not inferior. So live today in that truth!

DAY SEVENTY-SIX | Roadblocks to Significance #12 Leaving your hand on the scale

Leaving your hand on the scale

In life, it’s just better to do what’s right. There is a principle of fairness that has existed since the creation of mankind. I know what’s right. You know what’s right. I know how to treat people. You know how to treat people. Why? Because we are people.

Any time I try to keep from doing what I know to be the right thing to do, or when I make excuses about not doing the right thing, or I pretend that I don’t know what the right thing to do is, I am placing my hand on a scale to favor it in my direction.

And that’s not fair.

Life was not meant to be lived like that, and behaving in that manner is a major roadblock to significance in life.

It is not fair to seek significance in life by doing something that is weighing the scales in your favor at the expense of somebody else. A significance bought with such actions would be no significance at all.

So we have learned about twelve roadblocks to significance. I’ll close with this thought. As I have been writing these—reading, studying, evaluating myself—there are times when I get in the midst of it all and I realize how much yet there is to learn, apply, and get good at.

I would not want any of you to leave these pages thinking, “Wow! I’ve got 12 roadblocks on my pathway. I don’t know if I can ever make it.” No. I want you to leave these pages today thinking this: “There are roadblocks on my journey to significance in life and now I am a little bit more aware, and therefore, I can travel that much better on my journey.”

DAY SEVENTY-FIVE | Roadblocks to Significance #11 The new driver syndrome

The new driver syndrome

A new driver is very uncertain as to how hard to push the gas, how quickly to disengage the clutch, and when to go for the brake in order to remain in control of the vehicle. So, it becomes a process of pushing too hard and backing off, and pushing too hard and backing off, and pushing too hard and backing off.

Sometimes when people are a not good at a task when they first begin, their initial inability causes them to back off and give up. Roadblock!

Sometimes people just deny the importance of the principle of action. They work really hard for a season and then they procrastinate. They make an initial effort and then they get distracted. Roadblock!

It happens all the time. We approach a task with enthusiasm and then someone laughs. We lay out our plans with hope and belief and then someone tells us that it can’t be done. Push and back off. Push and back off.

Here’s what I’ve learned works best for me: “I will—UNTIL!”

DAY SEVENTY-FOUR | Roadblocks to Significance #10 Lack of self-discipline

Lack of self-discipline

“Do what needs to be done, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.” The fact of the matter is that we will all be disciplined in life. Discipline has never been optional. Discipline will either be supplied from an outside source or from within ourselves. We are not talking so much in terms of punishment as we are in terms of restraint and willpower.

Self-discipline is all about becoming the master of doing the things we prefer not to do.

Self-discipline requires sustained, perpetual, massive action. If that sounds like an every day, every moment kind of thing, that’s because I believe that’s what it is.

Discipline is not something we are born with; rather it is something we develop. Our every day actions can initiate, reinforce, enhance, and refine that state of inner self-discipline.

If we are going to achieve the becoming of the best versions of ourselves, then we are going to need to put in the effort, dedication, and purposeful commitment to the process that it will take to get there.

DAY SEVENTY-THREE | Roadblocks to Significance #9 Looking for the shortcuts

Looking for the shortcuts

You know that feeling that develops in the pit of your stomach. It is a disheartening realization when you discover that you have tried to bargain with the pathway to your goal. You took a shortcut, and by doing so only made the goal more difficult to achieve. J.R.R. Tolkien in the Fellowship of the Ring wrote, “Short cuts make long delays”

When we are talking about the pathway to significance in life, the seeking of shortcuts to get there becomes a major roadblock in completing the vision. Life demands determination and hard work. There is no shortage of evidence that many people do, in fact, try shortcuts.

If we could see the whole process from start to finish, we would undoubtedly see that the shortcuts would never led us to the finish.

Is it a legitimate thing to ask the question, Is there a better way? I believe the answer to that is a resounding yes.

The distinction between finding a better way and seeking a way to avoid the things that are required is a differentiation that is crucial if we are to find significance in life.

We should always work to find the best, most effective, most efficient, most empowering way to our dreams – and then we should give it everything we’ve got. When we give our full enthusiasm to the process we have embraced, significance is well within reach.

DAY SEVENTY-TWO | Roadblocks to Significance #8 Accelerating in neutral

Accelerating in neutral

There are many of us whose journey to success and significance in life can be roadblocked when we try to drive in neutral. Regardless of how much we seek to convince ourselves and others that we are working to move forward in life, we will remain where we are if there is no accountability and responsibility for action. We may feel or at least pretend that we are “putting the pedal to the metal”, but talk and hype do not equate to action.

One of the major road signs we look for that warns us that this roadblock is coming up is the use of excuses. Whenever we find ourselves in the process of trying to “explain away” what’s going on in our lives, we are approaching the roadblock.

We can be so distracted by the urgent things in our lives that we miss what is really important. Urgent things almost always require massive amounts of our energy, but often they are not crucial to the priorities we have identified.

When the tires are spinning and the engine is roaring but we are not moving towards significance, we need to take a step back and evaluate where we are investing our time and how we are taking our action.

DAY SEVENTY-ONE | Roadblocks to Significance #7 Eliminating the photo spots

Eliminating the photo spots

The inspiration we derive from the memories wrapped up in the photo spots of life is invaluable as we move towards significance. Life has its ups. Life has its downs. Life has its great moments and life has its challenges. Life is like that. You’re going to experience this. I’m going to experience this. Because we are alive and human, we will experience the moments of great happiness and exhilaration, and we will also experience the dark times of obstruction and difficulty.

So when the challenges of life come, where do we go? Where is our place of inspiration? Sometimes it’s a place with a physical location. Sometimes it’s a place in our mind. And yet, there are a lot of people who have never figured out a place where they can go.

I don’t know where you will go for inspiration. Maybe it’s a book. Maybe it’s an audio in some format. Maybe it’s a memory of a victory won. What I know is this: if you don’t have a place of inspiration to go to, you have a serious roadblock. Life has lots of “stuff” to throw in your pathway. Significance is found in the midst of the “stuff” of life. So take the time to crystallize the inspirational photo spots along the way, and don’t forget to revisit them frequently.

DAY SEVENTY | Roadblocks to Significance #6 Taking your eyes off the road

Taking your eyes off the road

Car manufacturers have recognized that if one takes one’s eyes off the road, an accident is likely. Unfortunately, we have not yet invented or developed an off-track warning alarm system for our personal lives. We don’t have a built-in sensor that will let us know when we have taken our eyes off our goals.

When we take our eyes off the road and refuse to be steadfastly unwavering in our commitment to goal-setting and the visualization of our dreams, when we refuse to dream or deny the existence of our dream, when we don’t know where we are going, when we don’t feel like we have a purpose in life, then we have hit the roadblock.

So the question becomes: what is the dream that will inspire you to keep your eyes on the road? What element of your significance in life is stronger than your doubts and distractions and fears? Find it, see it, and hold onto it. Keep your eyes on the road.